Otherwise known as FUCK MY LIFE, FML is an site where you can post short stories about your life being rubbish ending in FML. People can then rate them with 'I agree your life sucks' or 'you deserved it' or something along those lines anyway.

Some highlights;

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

Today, I told my mom about my night terrors in which I am laying in a ditch with people shooting at me, and I have no ammunition to defend myself. She told me I should stop being such a whiny bitch, and to grow up and be a man. I am 20 and got back from Iraq 10 months ago. FML

Today, my teacher demanded to talk to my dad because she thought he wasn't a good enough male role model because I'd misbehaved. I told her he had died of cancer in 2005. She said that my lie was rude, disgraceful, and that I should be ashamed, then gave me a detention. He actually did die. FML

Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML

Today, I was reported to my principal because someone caught me shooting up at the cafeteria lunch table and as a result I have been suspended from school. I am a diabetic, I was giving myself insulin before I ate crappy school food. FML

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML

Today, I had to make a family tree for one of my classes. When I was going through it, I realized that both my parents have the same last name. So, I asked them about it and they told me that they are second cousins. FML



  1. Today, I went on a walk with the guy I like. He held my hand, so I decided to tell him that I had feelings for him. He said that he had feelings for me too. I smiled and leaned in to kiss him. He put his hand on my face and pushed it away, and said "until your acne clears, we are NOT together." FML


  2. i always thought it meant 'for the motherfucking lose'. My life has been a lie