At death, the Kabaka (Bugandan kings) are interred in huts where at the beating of drums, a great mindbending forest opens up and the undead kings go on an extended leave of absence; lost in the forest, until the royal drums call them back.

Earlier today some of the major domos’ tombs were burnt down; possibly torched. I can’t work out if this means the forest is now in cinders and the kings can find their way back to Earth ala Dawn of the Dead or that the kings are trapped in the great forest forever.

Here’s guy number one, Muteesa II. He blows Henry VIII out of the spermatozoon-infested waters, with reportedly over 85 wives. With those puppy dog Chris Rock eyes, I can see why.

Mwanga II was a tough cookie and had many a bout of fisticuffs with English trading companies. He even had an archbishop murdered. He was deposed in absentia and turned to Christianity, but you can’t keep a good king down and he was repatriated into the tombs.

Daudi Cwa II was an actual baby when he received the throne. Growing up as a king meant he was a chilled out mother and let his kingdom believe what they wanted and England liked him so much, they had him knighted.

Major General Sir Edward Frederick William David Walugembe Mutebi Luwangula Mutesa II or King Freddy struggled against the Brits and Obote, the Ugandan Prime Minister for most of his life. He came to a Hendrix ending with the vodka. Though it was purportedly an assassination. Though he can’t die because he’s immortal. Though he’s ashes now, so maybe he’s not.


No comments:

Post a Comment